Question #9 of my last Honors Biology quiz read: Tell me a funny, funny joke. Here are some of the responses:

– Your mom.

– Q. How do you get a rabbit over a fence?

A. You throw it over. (Apparently this is a bonafide Laffy Taffy joke)

– I tried to walk into Target, but I missed.

– Q. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?

A. One’s a scum-sucking bottom-feeder…and the other is a fish.

– A Chinese man, and Irish man, and a Polish man are all working at a farm. The owner tells the Polish guy to shovel manure while the Irish man spreads it on the fields and the Chinese man is in charge of supplies. Five hours later the owner comes back and sees that nothing is done and asks why they didn’t do anything. The Irish guy says the Chinese guy gave them no supplies. Then the Chinese man jumps out of the barn and screams, “SUPPLIES!”

– Q. A red crab and a green crab is racing (non-native English speaker here). Red crab is 20 cm long, green crab is 5 cm long. The run at same speed. Who wins and why?

A. Green wins because the red crab is cooked. (Don’t know that I’ve ever seen a green crab, though, to be honest…)

– I guessed on #8.

– There are two zebras. One zebra asks his friend, “Am I white with black stripes or black with white stripes?” His friend tells him that that was a question only God could answer. So the next day the zebra asks God, “Am I white with black stripes or black with white stripes?” God meerly replies, “You are what you are.” When the zebra tells his friend what God said, his friend tells him he is definitely not black with white stripes or else God would have said, “Yo is what yo is.”

– My grade on this quiz…

– And, finally, a “funny fact”: Winston Churchill was once at a party. As it turned out, he had one too many a drink and ended up innebriated as the night progressed. One lady–some say the Queen herself–went up to him and informed him of his drunken state, scolding him considering his position as Prime Minister. Churchill’s only response when confronted was: “My dear lady. yes, I am indeed drunk. But as it may be, you are ugly. And tomorrow, when I wake up, I will no longer be drunk. You, however, will still be ugly.”