My heart went out to Acapulco today.  A small-faced, sensible female (whose name, inexplicably, is pronounced by everyone as “Acapuliko”), she happens to be the only female with a swelling (the “I’m ready to mate sign”) the size of Alaska, making her a hot commodity among the masturbating brutes of her tribe (BA troop has four males of consequence: Augosti Moja (August I), Augosti Mbili (August II), Sufi, and Asayuti; Shirati also exists, but he’s old and decrepit and doesn’t figure into matters of the heart (or the loins) any more).  The property of Augosti II at daybreak, I found her (and others) wandering the beach, licking stones (as baboons are wont to do), Augosti II hot on her heels.  And then Sufi decided it was his turn.

I’m still practicing this whole “focal follow” thing (following one male hither and thither, writing down what he does), and Sufi happened to be my man of the hour (or two hours, rather).  A lover of children, Sufi figures into the cuddly portion of my mind, sort of teddy bear-like.  Snuggly.  Today he didn’t seem snuggly.  Sufi, afraid to take on Augosti II on his own, did his best to entice Asayuti into a coalition (in the math of elementary school playgrounds everwhere, 2 can really wail on 1).  He slapped the ground, kicked stones, make a couple feints at charging, all the while eyeing Asayuti, giving him the “signal”, a sort of come-hither eye-brow raise.  Asayuti ignored him.  Asayuti was licking stones.  Sufi tried several more times, to no avail, while Augosti II milled around nearby with Acapulco, having to know sh** was about to go down.  But he seemed non-chalant (difficult for a baboon, I assure you) and just hovered close to his girl.

Eventually, Sufi found a friend in Augosti I, a baboon I’ve started to see as a bit weak-chinned and, perhaps, conniving.  A thin-fingered, intellectual villain.  After solifying their bond and intention with a few charge feints, the two turned toward Augosti II and started to circle like sharks.  It wouldn’t be fair to say it was half-hearted, because I can’t honestly know, but Augosti II did seem to give up a bit.  He tried to ignore the guys bouncing around him and finally, almost with resignation, took off after Sufi. 

Since Sufi got chased, though, Augosti I got the spoils.  Acapulco, freaked out, dashed into the water (the cool way to flee, is seems), followed closely by Augosti I.  Suddenly interested, Asayuti took a threatening stance on shore and Augosti I reacted by jumping on top of Acapulco, shoving her underwater.  While he and Asayuti exchanged various epithets, I waited expectantly for Acapulco to surface.  Only when I started to wonder if she might drown right there, her head popped up, hair askew, teeth bared in terror, SCREAMING.  Eventually, Asayuti buggered off, and Acapulco found herself newly courted by, frankly, kind of an asshole.

While this all was going down, me wishing for a bag of popcorn and urging the boys on, I found myself having to readjust my viewpoint repeatedly.  See, although the show was magnificent, it featured four rather large individuals who don’t fully understand that audience participation is not encouraged.  It didn’t help that Acapulco, knowing she was in the midst of a power struggle that might not end well, kept walking in my direction.  At one point I verbally urged her to stay the hell away from me, for Chrissake.  She doesn’t speak English, it seems.  Anyway, I managed to remain an innocent bystander while getting an excellent example of why being a female baboon kind of, well, sucks.